Dawn’s Beams

     When the beams of first dawn’s light hit her in the face she stopped and looked around for the first time that night. She had seen so much during her time and this was just another day. People would start to get out of bed and look upon the world with joy of a new day in their minds. People would be heading home having worked all night in the toil of their social status. Never changing and always looked down upon by those who made more and were born into more. She let the warm rays waft down her naked body, burning away the chill from the moon, who much like herself provided light but no warmth. She appeared as any normal hard working woman would, trying to make something more for herself in this world. She smiled and laughed with the others when they made jokes. She flirted with the mildly attractive men in her office. Enough to get what she wanted but never enough to make them brave. If asked her colleges might call her ‘Cute’, ‘sweet’, or even ‘kindly’. Often enough she had been compared to a sister or mother or aunt of someone. Each time she would laugh out loud in a gentle manner and silently mock them for being fooled.

     That was until she met Him. He was the most beautiful thing she had ever laid her eyes on. He was beyond the words of other women’s gossip in the office, single, hot, and funny. It was the first time that she had ever really felt a warm flame in her. A sweet, hot thing that started to burn away her walls. He saw past every flirty word she would say to him. He would just smile and look back to his work. The only thing that had given her a clue as to his own lust for her was at a “Team Building” activity. He had been there as she pulled up and seen her struggle to pull out the large ice chest from the back of the car. He jogged over to help her out and she watched each godly step in slow motion as he approached her. He didn’t say a single word as he wedged himself between the car she had parked to close to and rounded around the open door. He looked into her eyes with a look she had never seen before and pressed his perfectly sculpted body across her chest. Pressing her into the frame of the car. With the next two words he set her aflame.

         “How Many?”

      She looked at him with a new passion. She would have this man. She would take him in as she had all the others before him and she would own every inch. Before she could respond he deftly grabbed the handle of the cooler and yanked it out. Balancing it on his shoulder he maneuvered quickly around her and headed back to the party. No one the wiser as to what had just happened. She joined the party but had a more distant and far off look to her face. She kept watching him to wait for him to steal glances at her. To admire her from afar, but everything he did, was natural and he kept moving around the party without looking like he was avoiding her. He never glanced at her once. It was as if he had never said anything to her at all. Confusion and anger entered the party and took hold of her as she struggled to understand. He was like her. She was sure of it. He had things that he never let them see and he must have the same urges she did. He had known what doing that would do, he had known that she wouldn’t be able to resist the challenge.

      After the party one of the married men unhappy with their marriage and looking to be set on fire again, helped her with the now empty cooler and placed it back in her car. She ignored his sad attempts at seducing her and treated him like a child to get him to back off. As he left and entered his own car she searched around the park once more. Looking for the face that had entranced her all day. He was saying goodbye to the one person in the office that she couldn’t stand, a perky short brunette with breast to large for her frame. He was standing at her car holding open the driver’s door, but she wasn’t upset or in a hurry to have him leave. The Bimbo giggled and trailed her hand down her tits more than once. She realized that this was more annoying than anything she had put up with since high school. In fact, the Bimbo reminded her of her first.

     She was young and so pumped full of hormones that she didn’t care who it was, she just WANTED someone. She found the 3rd in rank cheerleader whose large chest was the only thing keeping her planted firmly in the popular ranks, and she had shown her pleasure. She had taught her how addicting lust could be in the right hands, or well, her right hand. Then she got her own fill of lust as she watched the pleasure in her eyes transfer to pain as the blood seeped out of the long shallow but effective cut on her neck. She had enjoyed playing with the body after and had disposed of it in a patch of woods in a neighboring state. They would never look for her because she had never told anyone who she was messing with and as far as anyone knew the two girls would have never in their lives chosen to cross paths. She left soon after graduating as talks of the girl running away to join her boyfriend in college, getting away from her abusive father spread among the school like wildfire.  She had never like the kids at her school but they were very good at making this so much easier for her.

     Years had past since then and she had taken to men for the most part as they were fairly easy to fool. Always thinking of women as weak and unable to care for themselves. She kept the distance between each outing as random as she could and always in a “camping” environment. Putting distance between their lives and her homemade horror. Cutting off their ability to contact anyone or be heard in the night. Never had she been found out and never had there been anyone to link her. This man, however, could feel it. He could see it on her skin and wasn’t fooled by her farce. He saw her for who she was, just like him.

      He smiled at the Bimbo and slowly looked over to her. His smile still plastered on but watching her with coldness. He quickly snapped his focus back to the girl in front of him and continued talking. She sat down in her car but didn’t turn it on. She watched. It was fun, like watching an actor do what you do in real life. It seemed so clear what he was doing to her, but this girl had no idea. He leaned in and spoke near her ear and she giggled turned into her car, being sure to give him a great view and returned with a slip of paper. He smiled and took it, placing it in his pocket. She pouted and tugged on his sleeve like a child would when demanding something. He looked sadly apologetic and shooed her into the car. She fought it a bit more giving him time to change his mind and then headed off. He smiled and waved until she was out of sight, then dropped the mask and turned to her.

      His sudden cold manner made the air chill. She got a sudden rush of goosebumps across her arms as he started to approach her. His long strides didn’t leave him far away for long. He reached her window and waited for her reaction. She opened the door and looked up at him.

       “Get out and follow me.” His gruff voice vibrated her chest and she felt her lungs reaching for every inch of air as it escaped her.

      She slowly grabbed her keys and insured her knife was still seated comfortably on her waistband. She arranged herself and stepped out of the car. He started walking and didn’t look back. She quickly shut the door and followed behind him. He walked silently into the park and right past the tables, walking a bit faster heading for the wooded lot behind the park. She smiled. He wanted her. She had known it. His strong back flexed with each step and she focused only on the changes in his shirt made with each step.

      After walking much deeper than she had ever explored he stopped. They were on a hillside where you could see the moon rising. It was much higher then she realized it should be and she could see the faintness of stars coming out. She smiled. He turned and looked at her with an unemotional face. His soul showing up in his cold dead looking eyes. His hands quickly grabbed her waist and pulled her in. Passion. Something they had both faked at one point was all that was seen. She was pulled under his rain of pleasure and returned with a fire of lust, guiding him to hold her deeper. He didn’t speak but pulled back enough to see her face. She quickly yanked on his shirt, tossing it aside. He reached behind her and undid her zipper for the tight lacy skirt she was wearing. She used her own hands to help wiggle out of it tossing it aside. She quickly reached up and removed the matching top and with her hands over her head he drove deep inside of her.

     He had found her knife, most likely when he pressed against her at the car, and claimed it with his first move. Now, her most trusted tool was thrust into her ribs pulling at the tissue. The sensation caused her to smile. Pain was surly what she was feeling but it was such a wonderful feeling. He yanked the handle and plunged it in again. Over and over finding his own rhythm to ravage her with.

     Finally with a small flourish he was done. She looked over to him with her remaining strength and smiled. He looked back, her blood on his face, and growled, “Why her, you could have picked anyone but you picked her. I followed you that night, she was mine. I had been planning it for years. She was going to be my first. YOU STOLE HER. Took her joy and pain from me. All of it should have been mine.”
     He reached over and softly moved the hair away from her eyes. “Well, now, I will have you. My first. I won’t forget you.” He shakingly reached over and moved his head closely to her kissing her forehead and breathing in deeply the scent of her shampoo.

     He got up and quickly dressed removing his presence from the area as he went. No fingerprints, no shoe prints, nothing to tie him here. He would get away. They would look for someone to blame but no one could point the finger to him. She watched him walk away and turned back to look at the pink hued sky. Dawn would be here soon and she wanted to watch.



When love touches grace the fires burn brightly. The glow with the dim lights of passion, the burn with the red embers of lust and they soar and sputter with the wispy arms of joy. Love can burn long and low. Seem like nothing much to those outside but be hot enough to provide and keep everything moving. Love can scorch hot and quick like the one night affair or single year of attachment. Love can come to you in a lighting bolt of longing that you never saw coming. Giving life to a passion that would mow down any other feeling you may have had in the past. Making new way for life and love. Destroying everything you grew in previous relationships, your trust, happiness, dreams, hopes and, wishes. Making a path open for growth of friendships, understanding, caring, comfort, and closeness that you could have never felt before. Let the lairs lie, let the cheaters cheat. Their heat of love is only scaring you. What burns you one day, prepares you for new love and life on another.

He did so much worse then cheat, or lie. He destroyed utterly everything I had. He selfishly piled his own needs and fantasies to fuel a fire he couldn’t contain. He didn’t look around at what I had built, at what I had so carefully laid out and made home to. He saw what he wanted and didn’t have. He gave excuse after excuse. When the storm came and burned me to a crisp. I couldn’t walk. I couldn’t breath. I didn’t even think I could live any longer. I gave up. I saw the ashes of hate, fear and, loathing around me and cried. I wept over the scorched lands of my heart as the earth would weep for her dying child. I wept for the loss of all the great things I had planned. I wept for the broken dreams I saw shattered in front of me. I wept most of all for the love I still held, I hated it. I wanted it to burn and die. I wanted to dash it on the ground and stomp it into dust. However, in my haste of everything crashing around me, I held onto it as a reminder. This was real, it was something that I had and kept because it had been there the whole time. It was my love, the one I had given freely, now covered in the ashes of this mess. I cried over it, cleaned it with my tears and saw myself inside.

I rose from the rubble and looked deeper. This love I held was something I had always given away without thinking about it. I didn’t know what to do with it. I could feel it needed something but I didn’t know what. I found someone who looked at it and smiled gently, “it is not mine.”, and sent me on my way. I gave it again, “it is not mine”, yet again but this time I was closer. Because this time, I had found someone who understood. I gave it over, “This is not mine, it is for you. Love yourself and watch what happens.”. It was as if he had opened a flood gate, but he didn’t step back out of the way and watch me fumble, he stood there strong as a rock and grabbed on. He showed me how to light the small simple fire that would keep my passion burning for myself. He taught me about how different types of dreams took time and that didn’t mean I should forget them. He helped me rebuild my love for myself, and in doing so, I made a room in that place for him. I love him as if he had always meant to be there. I love him more and more each day as I see the fruit of friendship he planted so many years ago.

My lesson is this, understand that things happen. It will always happen. Fill your life with wonderful people who understand you and you can rebuild. You can find passion and fires worth your time. Be yourself, and love yourself, as you learn to love yourself, you can then find love for others more passionate then you could have ever imagined. Know that sometimes, letting go is hard, but necessary for growth and development. If you cling to the destruction you smother your own personal potential for rebuilding something better.

I love you all, you are all my very special people.