Dawn’s Beams

     When the beams of first dawn’s light hit her in the face she stopped and looked around for the first time that night. She had seen so much during her time and this was just another day. People would start to get out of bed and look upon the world with joy of a new day in their minds. People would be heading home having worked all night in the toil of their social status. Never changing and always looked down upon by those who made more and were born into more. She let the warm rays waft down her naked body, burning away the chill from the moon, who much like herself provided light but no warmth. She appeared as any normal hard working woman would, trying to make something more for herself in this world. She smiled and laughed with the others when they made jokes. She flirted with the mildly attractive men in her office. Enough to get what she wanted but never enough to make them brave. If asked her colleges might call her ‘Cute’, ‘sweet’, or even ‘kindly’. Often enough she had been compared to a sister or mother or aunt of someone. Each time she would laugh out loud in a gentle manner and silently mock them for being fooled.

     That was until she met Him. He was the most beautiful thing she had ever laid her eyes on. He was beyond the words of other women’s gossip in the office, single, hot, and funny. It was the first time that she had ever really felt a warm flame in her. A sweet, hot thing that started to burn away her walls. He saw past every flirty word she would say to him. He would just smile and look back to his work. The only thing that had given her a clue as to his own lust for her was at a “Team Building” activity. He had been there as she pulled up and seen her struggle to pull out the large ice chest from the back of the car. He jogged over to help her out and she watched each godly step in slow motion as he approached her. He didn’t say a single word as he wedged himself between the car she had parked to close to and rounded around the open door. He looked into her eyes with a look she had never seen before and pressed his perfectly sculpted body across her chest. Pressing her into the frame of the car. With the next two words he set her aflame.

         “How Many?”

      She looked at him with a new passion. She would have this man. She would take him in as she had all the others before him and she would own every inch. Before she could respond he deftly grabbed the handle of the cooler and yanked it out. Balancing it on his shoulder he maneuvered quickly around her and headed back to the party. No one the wiser as to what had just happened. She joined the party but had a more distant and far off look to her face. She kept watching him to wait for him to steal glances at her. To admire her from afar, but everything he did, was natural and he kept moving around the party without looking like he was avoiding her. He never glanced at her once. It was as if he had never said anything to her at all. Confusion and anger entered the party and took hold of her as she struggled to understand. He was like her. She was sure of it. He had things that he never let them see and he must have the same urges she did. He had known what doing that would do, he had known that she wouldn’t be able to resist the challenge.

      After the party one of the married men unhappy with their marriage and looking to be set on fire again, helped her with the now empty cooler and placed it back in her car. She ignored his sad attempts at seducing her and treated him like a child to get him to back off. As he left and entered his own car she searched around the park once more. Looking for the face that had entranced her all day. He was saying goodbye to the one person in the office that she couldn’t stand, a perky short brunette with breast to large for her frame. He was standing at her car holding open the driver’s door, but she wasn’t upset or in a hurry to have him leave. The Bimbo giggled and trailed her hand down her tits more than once. She realized that this was more annoying than anything she had put up with since high school. In fact, the Bimbo reminded her of her first.

     She was young and so pumped full of hormones that she didn’t care who it was, she just WANTED someone. She found the 3rd in rank cheerleader whose large chest was the only thing keeping her planted firmly in the popular ranks, and she had shown her pleasure. She had taught her how addicting lust could be in the right hands, or well, her right hand. Then she got her own fill of lust as she watched the pleasure in her eyes transfer to pain as the blood seeped out of the long shallow but effective cut on her neck. She had enjoyed playing with the body after and had disposed of it in a patch of woods in a neighboring state. They would never look for her because she had never told anyone who she was messing with and as far as anyone knew the two girls would have never in their lives chosen to cross paths. She left soon after graduating as talks of the girl running away to join her boyfriend in college, getting away from her abusive father spread among the school like wildfire.  She had never like the kids at her school but they were very good at making this so much easier for her.

     Years had past since then and she had taken to men for the most part as they were fairly easy to fool. Always thinking of women as weak and unable to care for themselves. She kept the distance between each outing as random as she could and always in a “camping” environment. Putting distance between their lives and her homemade horror. Cutting off their ability to contact anyone or be heard in the night. Never had she been found out and never had there been anyone to link her. This man, however, could feel it. He could see it on her skin and wasn’t fooled by her farce. He saw her for who she was, just like him.

      He smiled at the Bimbo and slowly looked over to her. His smile still plastered on but watching her with coldness. He quickly snapped his focus back to the girl in front of him and continued talking. She sat down in her car but didn’t turn it on. She watched. It was fun, like watching an actor do what you do in real life. It seemed so clear what he was doing to her, but this girl had no idea. He leaned in and spoke near her ear and she giggled turned into her car, being sure to give him a great view and returned with a slip of paper. He smiled and took it, placing it in his pocket. She pouted and tugged on his sleeve like a child would when demanding something. He looked sadly apologetic and shooed her into the car. She fought it a bit more giving him time to change his mind and then headed off. He smiled and waved until she was out of sight, then dropped the mask and turned to her.

      His sudden cold manner made the air chill. She got a sudden rush of goosebumps across her arms as he started to approach her. His long strides didn’t leave him far away for long. He reached her window and waited for her reaction. She opened the door and looked up at him.

       “Get out and follow me.” His gruff voice vibrated her chest and she felt her lungs reaching for every inch of air as it escaped her.

      She slowly grabbed her keys and insured her knife was still seated comfortably on her waistband. She arranged herself and stepped out of the car. He started walking and didn’t look back. She quickly shut the door and followed behind him. He walked silently into the park and right past the tables, walking a bit faster heading for the wooded lot behind the park. She smiled. He wanted her. She had known it. His strong back flexed with each step and she focused only on the changes in his shirt made with each step.

      After walking much deeper than she had ever explored he stopped. They were on a hillside where you could see the moon rising. It was much higher then she realized it should be and she could see the faintness of stars coming out. She smiled. He turned and looked at her with an unemotional face. His soul showing up in his cold dead looking eyes. His hands quickly grabbed her waist and pulled her in. Passion. Something they had both faked at one point was all that was seen. She was pulled under his rain of pleasure and returned with a fire of lust, guiding him to hold her deeper. He didn’t speak but pulled back enough to see her face. She quickly yanked on his shirt, tossing it aside. He reached behind her and undid her zipper for the tight lacy skirt she was wearing. She used her own hands to help wiggle out of it tossing it aside. She quickly reached up and removed the matching top and with her hands over her head he drove deep inside of her.

     He had found her knife, most likely when he pressed against her at the car, and claimed it with his first move. Now, her most trusted tool was thrust into her ribs pulling at the tissue. The sensation caused her to smile. Pain was surly what she was feeling but it was such a wonderful feeling. He yanked the handle and plunged it in again. Over and over finding his own rhythm to ravage her with.

     Finally with a small flourish he was done. She looked over to him with her remaining strength and smiled. He looked back, her blood on his face, and growled, “Why her, you could have picked anyone but you picked her. I followed you that night, she was mine. I had been planning it for years. She was going to be my first. YOU STOLE HER. Took her joy and pain from me. All of it should have been mine.”
     He reached over and softly moved the hair away from her eyes. “Well, now, I will have you. My first. I won’t forget you.” He shakingly reached over and moved his head closely to her kissing her forehead and breathing in deeply the scent of her shampoo.

     He got up and quickly dressed removing his presence from the area as he went. No fingerprints, no shoe prints, nothing to tie him here. He would get away. They would look for someone to blame but no one could point the finger to him. She watched him walk away and turned back to look at the pink hued sky. Dawn would be here soon and she wanted to watch.



When love touches grace the fires burn brightly. The glow with the dim lights of passion, the burn with the red embers of lust and they soar and sputter with the wispy arms of joy. Love can burn long and low. Seem like nothing much to those outside but be hot enough to provide and keep everything moving. Love can scorch hot and quick like the one night affair or single year of attachment. Love can come to you in a lighting bolt of longing that you never saw coming. Giving life to a passion that would mow down any other feeling you may have had in the past. Making new way for life and love. Destroying everything you grew in previous relationships, your trust, happiness, dreams, hopes and, wishes. Making a path open for growth of friendships, understanding, caring, comfort, and closeness that you could have never felt before. Let the lairs lie, let the cheaters cheat. Their heat of love is only scaring you. What burns you one day, prepares you for new love and life on another.

He did so much worse then cheat, or lie. He destroyed utterly everything I had. He selfishly piled his own needs and fantasies to fuel a fire he couldn’t contain. He didn’t look around at what I had built, at what I had so carefully laid out and made home to. He saw what he wanted and didn’t have. He gave excuse after excuse. When the storm came and burned me to a crisp. I couldn’t walk. I couldn’t breath. I didn’t even think I could live any longer. I gave up. I saw the ashes of hate, fear and, loathing around me and cried. I wept over the scorched lands of my heart as the earth would weep for her dying child. I wept for the loss of all the great things I had planned. I wept for the broken dreams I saw shattered in front of me. I wept most of all for the love I still held, I hated it. I wanted it to burn and die. I wanted to dash it on the ground and stomp it into dust. However, in my haste of everything crashing around me, I held onto it as a reminder. This was real, it was something that I had and kept because it had been there the whole time. It was my love, the one I had given freely, now covered in the ashes of this mess. I cried over it, cleaned it with my tears and saw myself inside.

I rose from the rubble and looked deeper. This love I held was something I had always given away without thinking about it. I didn’t know what to do with it. I could feel it needed something but I didn’t know what. I found someone who looked at it and smiled gently, “it is not mine.”, and sent me on my way. I gave it again, “it is not mine”, yet again but this time I was closer. Because this time, I had found someone who understood. I gave it over, “This is not mine, it is for you. Love yourself and watch what happens.”. It was as if he had opened a flood gate, but he didn’t step back out of the way and watch me fumble, he stood there strong as a rock and grabbed on. He showed me how to light the small simple fire that would keep my passion burning for myself. He taught me about how different types of dreams took time and that didn’t mean I should forget them. He helped me rebuild my love for myself, and in doing so, I made a room in that place for him. I love him as if he had always meant to be there. I love him more and more each day as I see the fruit of friendship he planted so many years ago.

My lesson is this, understand that things happen. It will always happen. Fill your life with wonderful people who understand you and you can rebuild. You can find passion and fires worth your time. Be yourself, and love yourself, as you learn to love yourself, you can then find love for others more passionate then you could have ever imagined. Know that sometimes, letting go is hard, but necessary for growth and development. If you cling to the destruction you smother your own personal potential for rebuilding something better.

I love you all, you are all my very special people.


Waiting for something you have wanted for such a long time can cause you to have one of two reactions. One, Excitement. You feel the thrill of having received the one thing you wanted more then anything else at that point in time. Lasts for maybe a year if it was a really awesome or emotional thing. Two, Disappointment. The falling feeling of knowing that your hopes and dreams are now crashed upon the rocks of despair and failure. This was the chance to have something awesome. Option two is what she was feeling at this point. Waiting for 5 long years of her life to get the one thing she asked for when she was dragged to church and forced to pray. The one thing she wanted when her mother asked her in earnest what she wanted for her birthday. This one thing that to her, would make the whole world right again. The release of her “Uncle”, a term she used to mean that this person was not really of her own blood. How could he be? He had hit her, touched her and told her horrible things about herself. No one ever believed her. No one ever would. Why should they when he had been working with children all his life in the same job for the last 20+ years as a nurse at a Children’s Cancer treatment hospital. He was a good honest man who would never harm anyone. Until he did… the wrong kid.

This kid knew he had nothing left in this world. He was watching an alarm clock tick down to his passing and lived everyday with the pain because at least for now he could feel it. However, when this strange sickly smelling man came into his room and gave him a dose of something that should have knocked him out and started to touch him, the boy was not as “out of it” as he had planned him to be, and quickly grabbed the fork on his tray table stabbing the man in the eye. The man was dead. And here stood the girl that had never said anything to anyone but her mother. Standing at his grave, ment to morn the passing of this vial human. She looked up and saw the boy. The family around her gasped in horror. She calmly walked over and stood toe to toe to him.

“Do your worst. I came here to allow his family closure. I won’t be around long enough for a trial anyway.” The boy had a strong jaw line and stood firm in place. His very thin frame held his pride like a rod, keeping him up right and waiting for a blow.

The girl looked back at her family. All looking at this paper thin boy. The boy, no, man who had taken from them someone they treasured. They held hate and fury and pain in their eyes. The feelings that she had when no one would listen to her, when they hushed her away and told her that saying such things wouldn’t get her the attention she wanted. She looked at them and smiled.

She wrapped her hand around the back of the boys head as he flinched expecting to be struck. She pulled him down to her level and kissed him with a flaming passion that would ignite the fires of anger in her family. She pushed all her need for someone who understood into her finger tips as they gripped into his curly brown hair. She pulled back and laughed.

“No one here would dare to strike you. I know what that man could do, he was a vial scum sucking anal discharge who deserved to rot with the dead dreams of the children he harmed. If anyone wants to hit you, They will have to fight me first.” She stared at her family daring anyone to move. She took his hand and walked away with him.

They got married two years latter when they turned 19 and had their first child when she was 22. He lived everyday he was given to the fullest and loved his wife with his whole heart when it gave up at 36. She cried and sat at his grave side with her son. They wept tears of joy for the days he fought for to be with them for just a bit longer, and cried for the days they wished they could have had. Slowly one by one her family arrived, they came and each one carried a seed. They dropped the seed and sat quietly until she turned to talk to the mother she had not talked to in years.

“What are you doing here?” She asked in a strong and willful tone.

“Years ago, this man came to us and planted a seed. He told us that he had no shame in what he had done but understood that his action had caused us pain. That man we buried then, had no shame in his action but never planed to deal with the pain it would cause. We couldn’t understand that a man who had such a giving heart and strong faith could be so crupt. We had no thoughts that what you had said was true, but when your husband showed up and spoke out, and you stood, we all were sure you would strike him. Stand up for your family. But you had nothing but relief in your eyes as you turned back to us. Thankfulness that he couldn’t hurt anyone else. Your husband planted a seed that day that made us all think, and now, We bring seeds to thank him.”

Flowers bloomed in the spring every year. standing there strong and defiant to the order of things. Just as he was and would always remain in memory.

Waiting Witch

The dark shadows traced across the kitchen as the moon hung low in the window. The silent footsteps of a careful intruder left little to hear for anyone listening. Long ago the girl had been warned that this day would come. She had shrugged it off at the time but as her 30th year drew closer she could almost feel the cold skeletal hands creep up her back to make due on that fateful prophecy. She had lead an easy life for too long now… it hungered to end it all. Turning to the stairs it started to climb. She had pictures littering the wall to show of her life lead up to this point. She had traveled around the world, found wonders, love, heartbreak, life long friends and learned so much. As it crested the top step it paused. Where a single strong heartbeat had always marked the path to the woman, now stood a second smaller line. Thin and pale but there all the same. Following the new line it came upon a door set ajar. Inside the room bathed in pink and soft light lay a small child wrapped gently to keep the night chill from disrupting her. It turned from the child to look out at the door across the hall as a familiar figure filled the doorway with a mess of curls crowning her head in a mocking fashion to remind it of the pain and loss suffered.

The woman smiled at the bright blue sky and thought of her husband. He had been gone from this land for a long time now but he always enjoyed a beautiful sky and mild weather. She thought fondly of him. She had also started thinking fondly of the baker down the road who always had extra of her favorite bread ready for her when she came calling. This man was young. Younger than her, and he was well loved by the people of the town. How well loved the woman was not aware for he spread his seed as he did his bread among the women of the town. Including the King’s beloved niece, left in his care by his late sister. The woman looked back to her cart to see a small quick hand reach out and take a rose. The figure may have been cloaked but the woman could tell at once it was a girl. Most likely a street urchin looking to make a coin. The woman caught the girl and mocked her in front of the town as someone ran for the guards. She had never seen the royal family and had no idea that the girl she mocked was the King’s niece. After being returned to her uncle the girl was set to be wed off within the fortnight ( two weeks) to ensure her morality stay with her. This however did not sway the girl from finding a way to bring the woman who made this happen forward before the King and be cast with a punishment of death for stealing bread. The young baker, who dare not speak out against a girl with so many of his secrets, had called out the woman as a witch who cast a spell on him to give away his bread and was causing him to lose livelihood. The woman was set to death for a witch, starved and stoned. However, after being pummeled she had not perished, she lay there bleeding. She watched the young man who she had thought fondly of cast down a rock on her, and quietly walk away. Then the girl came at night, wearing the cloak she was caught in, she called to the woman. “See witch, I always get my way. I was blessed at birth. I only hope my stone is the one to kill you so as to insure you pay for what you took from me.” With the last of her passing life she called out to the girl as she felt the cold set into her bones. “Girl, spoiled girl that you are, live your life, but know this, when your 30th year comes to pass I will come for you to end your line. I will never leave the banks of this world until I know that your line ends by my hand.” The girl scoffed at her and cast down her stone, landing solidly on her heart letting out the anger and hate the woman held for the spoiled child and latching her curse onto the heart of the girl. As the years ticked by and the girl was married off, she had given birth to 4 children, all healthy boys. The line that drew the witch to the girl was solid but on her 20th birth year she gave birth to a small pale girl, this is when the first thin line appeared, and the witch knew that in order to be freed from this world she must claim the life of the LAST of the line. Meaning the last girl born in her line by the 30th year. Fate made their lives full and easy in seeming to know what horror would come at 30. Each girl then continued to bare a female child before nearing 30.

The mother who had woken to check on her sweet new angel looked up and locked eyes with the pale thin witchy woman in front of her. The woman gave off an almost ethereal glow. As their eyes met the story of her family curse played in her head as it must have played for her mother. This was the threat that she was warned of at 15. The images slowed as it showed the clock ticking to midnight in her mind. She was 30 now, but like her mother, she had missed the curse because of her child. Now the Witch would be watching this child grow and waiting to come to her and claim her for the curse on her 30th year.

Damned Sight

The rain fell in fat drops on the roof. Her night had been left to some reheated pizza and whatever was playing on TV. She had known that the night would be cold, but the storm that had started to rage outside was a bit stronger then she expected.

Looking around her house she was sad that she hadn’t taken the chance to duck out of town for the weekend like her roommates. They always had some kind of adventure or trip planned to some new place she had never realized was an option. She had intended to spend this weekend out at some of the local bars and pubs looking for some fun new people to talk to and reach outside of her comfort zone with. Her more passive nature tended to leave her alone and driving home after just one drink. During the day the house had a light airy feel to it, but this storm had given it’s cold to the bones of the house and robbed any hope of feeling like she could relax. Standing up and walking across the living room to turn on the heater she felt the hair on her arms stand up.

CRACK! A loud, bright and powerful flash of lighting filled the air. She could almost taste the heat from it. Such a contrast to the coldness surrounding her. The lights in the house and TV all shut off. She pulled out her phone and used the flashlight to walk over to the windows, peaking out the front she saw that the streetlights had gone out as well. Her street was pitch black. Being the daughter of some very careful parents she went around the house and unplugged anything still in the walls. If the power did come back on she didn’t want it to fry her stuff with a burst of energy. She also made sure to flip the switches on all the lights to make sure they would be off. Another loud but not as close lighting strike hit. Her ears could hear the rumbling last for much longer, echoing in the darkness.

Bet this storm looks pretty bad ass, and we have a huge front porch, why not go watch it? With that she went to the fridge and poured herself a glass of her favorite wine. She unlocked the doors and stepped outside. The rain was falling in gentle sheets across the road in front of her house. The cold was no worse outside then in, so she left the door open. Sitting down in one of the chairs she slowly sipped her wine. She thought back to the warm pub and loud people that filled the bar. She had been getting a weird vibe from the room which is part of why she ducked out so early. Everyone else seemed not to notice it or be bothered by it but she just couldn’t shake it. Another strike of lighting traced a pattern in the sky, making a sweet low rumble. The street lit up a bit with the light and she could make out a tall shape down the street from her. Just seeing it made the hair on her body tingle. As the light faded she wasn’t sure if she had seen anything as it didn’t seem to be moving. Must be a tree or mailbox being lit oddly by the lighting. She took another sip and tried to relax. She watched the spot waiting for some movement or another lighting strike to illuminate the area. Time seemed to have slowed down and minutes seemed to have passed before the next very close and very loud crack of lighting lit up the area she was watching. There much closer then she expected was a tall figure who stood clothed in what looked like a tux with a top hat. His face obscured by the shadows but his movements were so slow he almost appeared to be standing still.

She stood up. Holding the glass with both hands to try and make out clearly what she was seeing. The figure looked up. The next bolt of lighting had her running for the door. As the strike hit and lit up his face she could make out his ash grey-blue skin, and very sharp looking teeth. Teeth that were clearly seen by the large patch of missing skin from the front of his face just where his lips should have been. It looked as though they had been ripped off. Those closed eyes worried her most. He walked in almost a straight path to her. Eyes closed, lightly and she feared what horror she might see or what might happen if he opened them. As she finished locking the door she ran around to the back to ensure that it was also locked well. She waited, well away from the doors and windows to see if she was just seeing things. She had her baseball bat her mother had given her when she moved out and her cell phone ready with the emergency number in case she needed it.

The falling drops of rain seemed to take up space in her mind, with each drop she heard she relaxed as nothing happened. Waiting quietly, when suddenly, the lights turned on outside. Her porch light flicked on as did the street light down the street that always seemed to peer into her front windows. She checked the main phone line and noticed it was down. She remembered that she had unplugged the base so that might have been why she wasn’t able to hear a dial tone. She took a deep breath and stood up. Smiling at herself she clicked her phone over to her Facebook to check her friend’s status and post her own status about this crazy storm. ‘Can’t remember the last time I had such a scare! No power and some kids decide to freak me out with leftover Halloween makeup!’ Sure, that had to be all it was. So stupid. She giggled to herself and locked her phone, looking up to the face from the street. Her front door was open, wet foot prints marked the slow silent path he had made as she was emerged in her phone. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t even think. Breathing seemed impossible. This thing had made it inside without her even noticing. She closed her eyes bracing for what was to come.

“See Me” She waited, eyes still closed as the voice spoke to her again. “See Meee, Seee Meee, See MEEE” A loud crack made her jump. Her eyes opened as a response and she saw the figure, head tilted, eyes starting to flutter. Her mind raced as she started to fear the figure seeing her. She scrambled backward and started for the bedroom. She could hear the soft echo of movement just barely noticeable over the pounding of the rain outside. She slammed her bedroom door closed and pushed her bed across the frame. She pulled her phone back out and started to dial again. Her heart dropped as she watched the knob of the door slowly turning. Her bed started to scrape across the floor. Her phone returned not the expectant ringing but a soft sound of a chilled voice. “Seeeeeeeeee Meeeeee” She looked at her phone as it powered its self off, refusing her any assistance. She turned quickly and opened her window jumping out onto the wet lawn. Looking backward she saw the figure’s hat slide into view. She got up and started running. The houses around her all had open doors. She didn’t know what the hell was going on but she didn’t want to stick around to find out. She continued running in the direction of the pub she had last visited. People, she needed to see people. The lighting was still making soft protests in the sky as she rounded the street to the main road. Cars drove past as if nothing was going on. She started walking. Cold, soaked but scared shitless she kept walking. If her phone wasn’t fucked due to water now, it would be soon. She got to the small pub and walked inside. The crowd didn’t seem to notice her at all. She walked to the bar and asked for the phone. The bar keep looked her over and pointed to the very old and vintage looking pay phone near the bathrooms.

“Look, I don’t have any money on me. I just need to call the police. I had someone break into my house. My phone is dead, and I left in a hurry so please just…” She left it open for him to fill in the blank. He looked her over again and shook his head. Reaching under the bar he handed her the phone. She called the police and told them what had happened…. as best she could. There had been a weird man outside who then broke into her house and chased her. She gave her current location and they told her to stay put. A few minutes later a pair of police officers showed up and started looking around the bar, she walked over to them. They confirmed she was the one who had called in and they gave her a ride back to the house. They had gone there first to make sure no one was waiting around. The power was back on so she turned on all the lights in the house. The officers sat down and started asking questions about the figure she had seen. She started describing the clothes and theatrical makeup (because what else could it be) and how it spoke to her. The weirdest part was the phone and other houses in the neighborhood. She heard her cell phone ringtone come from her bedroom where she had plugged it in on her arrival. The officers stated they would wait for her to return, she looked at the caller ID and it stated it was emergency services. Picking it up she could hear rain in the background.

“Seeeeeeee Meeeeeeee” She nearly dropped the phone. She unplugged it and ran to the living room. The officers seemed startled, she put the phone on speaker phone. “Ma’m, are you there? Did the officers find you alright?” The taller of the two walked over. “Yes we did, Thank you Anna.” He gave her a puzzled look, and handed back her phone. She tried to explain but the words wouldn’t come out. She sat there trying to think of what was going on. The officers offered to take her to a house of a family or friend near by or to wait for her to pack up some stuff for her so she could drive out but she declined. Maybe she was just tired and needed to sleep. Maybe someone had slipped her something in the pub. The police took their leave and she locked up tight. She didn’t bother turning off the lights she just slowly made her way to her room biting her thumb. She changed into her most soft P.Js and ducked into bed. Sleep was the only thing she was going to try to achieve now. The rain continued softly falling on the tree outside her window, however it was the soft clicking on her window that she was to frightened to look at. “Seeeeee Meeeeee, Seeeeee Meeeeee, SEE MEEEeee” The voice continued, and although she worried she realized at that moment, she wasn’t alone. Not anymore. No one could see or hear this thing whatever it was, so she was the only one. A crack of lighting hit outside on the street, the sound of it and heat forced her to look at the window. There was nothing. The sound was gone, it was gone.


For a woman who went threw so much and pull herself up out of the dust, I could not be more proud. I thought long and hard about what kind of gift I could get for the woman who did so much to mold and shape who I am today. The woman who has stood by my side for each of my child birthing experiences and who has held a calm head and leveled mind with any problem I found to big to hold on my own. For me Mother is not the only thing you are. You are my healer, taking care of my soul and heart when it was broken, speaking words of understanding and wisdom. You are my councilor, taking each thing I worry about and stress over in and feeling it out for ways that I can keep a hold on it. You are my friend, the person I am closest to and shared all my fears and insecurities with and you shared with me, which is how I was able to be such a great friend to other women in need. You are my teacher, insisting that I learn to fix a car before I learned to drive it. You are my role model, reaching for the highest shelf of self achievement and showing not only me but all of your beautiful children that when you work hard and focus on each task one at a time, a wall can be built, a bridge can be crossed and a life goal can be reached. You make life understandable, we may not always have things work out the way we want but maybe it is the way that is needed. You make love relatable,  understanding that doing what is easy is not always what is best and doing what is best is not always easy. Making hard choices from the day you found out you were pregnant with me. Understanding and showing the world that even if no one is holding your hand or standing at your side, you are still a force unequaled in ferocity and will care for your loved ones what ever it takes.

For all of this and so much more, I had no I idea what to get you as a present that could show you just how much you have taught me, loved me, cared for me, raised me and inspired me to be who I am today. You continue to share your light and wisdom with two beautiful girls I am proud to call sisters and one amazing young man who is growing to be quite wise that is my brother. I know you are the same amazing woman who raised myself and John, and I know you will raise them all to be as hard working, selfless, proud, loud, happy, caring, understanding, strong willed…, and brilliant as yourself.

I love you Mother. You make me proud. You make me smile. You, and only you, can be the one person in my life who understands my silly jokes and will snort over the phone with me when I call you. I love you, Happy Birthday you wonderful, Beautiful, amazing person.




Smoke. She remembered what happened.

The sweet smell was gone as was the Nan. She sat up quickly and felt the warmth of the fire hit her face. The night had passed and it was bright out. Well, as bright as the trees would allow. She stood on her shaky feet. Her ankle that had throbbed the night before was now a mild tingle. She looked around once more for any sign of the old woman. Finding nothing new from the night before, she started out of the tent.

Outside she found a flurry of activity. Bodies moving back and forth, women cooking, men talking to each other. No children seemed to be around. The view seemed wrong without them. How could there be so many here but no children?

A bright round face with straw colored hair turned away from the others and walked to her. The woman stood a head taller then her and was pale. She smiled and Vennessa could see that there was nothing to fear from her. Vennessa didn’t trust everything going on around her but she was ready to face any problem at this point.

“You must be our injured deer.” The girl looked to be a bit older but not by much. “My name is Arie, I was told by Mother to care for you.”

“Mother?” Vennessa had never heard of this word. Arie looked at her with almost a sad look.

“Yes, Mother. She is the one who brought you here with Adam. They heard the alarm and went in search for anyone who might have escaped. We have been waiting for someone to try to get out! We knew they keep others there like ourselves but anyone who tried to escape ended up being captured or died before we could get to them.” This bright flower was quite a talker.

Vennessa noted that the girl was holding a cup. “OH, yes this is for you! Sorry! I am meant to give you anything you may need. I know you eat differently from us, but I have little experience with what to feed you.” Meant as a joke? Yes, this girl was trying to relax Vennessa. She handed over the cup. Vennessa sniffed the cup, it was bitter but warm. “This is tea, Mother mixes special herbs that allow for us to be strong, fast and ready for birth.”

“… Birth?”

“Yes!” She said cheerfully.”It is our job to grow strong and have children with one we are chosen for,” The girl turned to look at the group of males eyeing them. “And it looks like you have caught the eye of more than one man.” She giggled.

“But where are your children?” The young girl looked around slightly confused. Vennessa wasn’t sure she liked being here with all these grown children. One thing she knew was that children coveted anything new to their nest, and fights happened. Now that they are big enough to cause harm it would be deadly if they fought.

“I need water, a stream maybe?” Vennessa hoped her charm would work on this daft girl. She had luck on her side as the girl smiled even brighter and started to walk away from the crowd that was forming.

“Yes! I can take you there it isn’t far. You seem to walk fine on your own so lets head down!” The girl continued in front to lead the way. Winding in and out of trees. Then went a good distance from the camp.

Maybe I can run when she turns around to let me clean. Vennessa looked up to start planing her route when she saw the bright flower stripping out of her coverings. “Wha-what are you doing?!” Vennessa quickly looked away from her, feeling the heat flash to her face.

“I am getting ready to get clean with you, silly! Do your sisters not help you clean?” The girl looked as though she really didn’t understand. Just like a child with innocence.

“In the nest if you uncover the Keepers get ideas of things they might act out on you. So no, they do not help me clean.” Her tone came out harsher then she meant but it seemed to have gotten the reaction she wanted. The girl looked sad and helpless.

“I understand. Would you like me to teach you how we clean or would you rather be alone for a moment?” The girl was still standing there naked, unafraid.

She must have never felt the chill of a Feeder’s eyes scanning over you for a meal, or the Keepers showing you how you can’t fight them when they push you around with their confusing words. This girl who has more curves and softness to her then Vennessa had ever seen on another. No one she could recall had the wide hips or supple top that this girl held proudly now, and her skin is so pale, almost glowing in how bright it is. The other girls seemed to mimic her pale skin and the men looked like the dark cream she was used to seeing.

Vennessa shook herself out of her own head. “Please replace your rags, I need only a while.” The girl gave a curt nod and pulled on her dress again. Moving out of the way of the stream Vennessa could see that it was not just a stream but a full river. The full width of it being more then she could forge on her own. The shallow and slow moving bank allowed for her to clean and see without much risk.

The girl headed back up the path and moved behind some brush. “I will wait up here. If you need my assistance please just yell.” The girl was friendly. She wanted to help but didn’t know how. However, this could lead to more trouble then it was worth.

Vennessa walked down to the edge of the water. It was cold, but felt nice. She squatted down to take a deeper look. Her reflection looked back, dirty, scratched but still herself. Now to figure out how to get away from here to look for the pod.


The hushing wind stopped in her ears and she could feel the temperature change from the biting cold to a slight warmth. She held her eyes closed and used her ears and nose to see what she could figure out.

The new area was slightly smoky and had a familiar sent of sweat to it. As her heart started to race in her chest she could feel a hand touch her arm. “She is scared. Let me explain to her.”

There was a small grunt of understanding and she could feel the male placing her down softly onto a soft raised platform. His heat and smell pulled away from her and the comfort she had grown used to in sleep was being torn from her again.

A few moments passed and she could hear the Nan shift in her spot. What was she waiting for?

Maybe I should run again. “I wouldn’t if I was you. You may have not broken it but it is hurt pretty bad.” The Nan’s raspy voice cut into her thoughts.

How was she doing that? She had never heard of anyone who could read someone else so well. Maybe it is just the power of Nan’s to know when someone is in need of information. “You could think of it that way. Do you really know so little of your elders?” The Nan’s voice now had a surprised but slightly amused tone to it.

This was enough, she had to see who was making a mockery of her. She snapped open her eyes and took in the view of the room around her. The smoky air came from the fire in the middle of the room where most of the smoke escaped out of the hole in the roof. The walls were covered in a form of cloth that was thick and colorful. Blankets maybe? The floor was mostly dirt but some areas had been covered with woven rugs. Flowers hung down around her now, their dried out bodies telling of time spend in the world and usefulness yet to come. Vennessa almost missed seeing the Nan who was sitting quietly watching her visitor scan the room. She was covered in many layers of rags all normal colors that would blend well with the outside. her hair was braided with a dark fabric twisted into it. Leaves and twigs from the run were caught in the now wind blown mess of her head. The Nan had the brightest Green eyes that Vennessa had ever seen. It suddenly called to mind a memory of a young child who developed such bright eyes on her 3rd year. The Keepers had called her True Sighted and taken her away. Vennessa thought she was surely dead but had seen her days later all clean and dressed so very pretty, walking with lots of people who seemed to have a keen interest in her. They kept petting her head and touching her face. It was more like how a beast would treasure a sweet it rarely got.

The Nan smiled brightly, “Ah, you have seen someone with my eyes. I am a Seer. I can see the true heart of someone and tell what they want. I can also see into their past, not far, but far enough to know if they mean me harm.” She smiled warmly. Her teeth showed normal except for two of them… they were pointed.

Before Vennessa could cry out the Nan rushed to her, “Quiet child this is not as it seems, if I had wanted to hurt you I would have already.” Vennessa knew it was true, “Because they take most of you young and leave only one elder you don’t know what we are. My teeth are for show. So I can walk among them and buy supplies to help our camp.”

Vennessa sat up slowly. She still wasn’t quite sure what to believe. She knew that Keepers always took the oldest for Dinner before they could reach their 17th year. Vennessa looked at the Nan, could she be truthful? She is right, they wouldn’t have let her live very long if she was a Feeder. Feeder’s weren’t known for waiting for anything.

“That’s okay child, you may not trust me now, but I don’t need you to trust. I need you to sleep right now. Sleep and heal.” The Nan stood closer and Vennessa could smell a sweet aroma, she tried to fight the heavy feeling in her head now but it was to much and she collapse into darkness.


Don’t look.
Don’t stop.

Deep gasps for breath. Air runs past my face but seems to stay away from my lungs. Burning lungs. Lungs that feel like lead, but I can’t stop now. I can’t look back. I can’t stop.

Feet hitting the ground padding one foot after the other. Bummp, bummp, bummp, bummp, snap, bummp. The sounds around me are louder then they should be, louder then I should allow. He knows. They know. They know right where I am. All that running and hiding and now they know.

“If you would only wait for us, we could explain to you what we want.” They want what I won’t give.
“You have to be rational Vennessa. You are the only one that can help us.” They lie about what I have.
“DAMN IT YOU SELFISH GIRL, FUCKING GIVE UP SO I CAN LIVE.” They don’t care about my life, just theirs.

Don’t look.
Don’t stop.
Ru- fall. Fuck. I fall down the hill. Twisted something. Can’t run. They win. Can’t fight. They win. I am dead. They win.

“Do you think she really understands any of this?” I do.
“No, she can’t, she has been breed just to feed us.” I do.
“Why did we have to chase her down?” …
“Because if she found the free ones she would breed and they would over grow us again.” There are more?
“Shut the fuck up, where did she fall?” I have to find them. I have to hide.
“But we have to kill her now don’t we? She would tell the others how to get out!” They already know. They have always known.

I don’t breath. I don’t move. I hide. I am hidden by the branches. It’s cold and wet. I don’t cry. I don’t move.

They talk. They move. They keep going. I am almost clear. I hear something run. Small, fast. They think it’s me. They run for it.

I try to move. Pain. I don’t call out. It hurts but I can’t say anything. Then I hear it. Whispers.

“She fell. She ran. I must find her.” a deep male voice. I can’t tell if I can trust it.
“She is scared, and hurt, be kind to her.” An older woman. Like the Nan in the pens. Who cares for us and keeps us before time for Dinner. I trust her.

Quiet feet seem to glide to me. “Hush girl, your voice is still loud.” the male is hidden by the shadows. He leans over and picks me up. The Nan looks over me. “She broke it. You have to carry her.”

She lied, it isn’t broken. She looks at me, raising one finger to her lips slightly as the male is looking for the quickest path. Silence, she wants him to think I can’t walk. She nods slightly.

“Have you spoken to her yet?” the male’s quiet voice sounds more like velvet now that I am being held across his chest, and the deep rumble of it can be better felt on my arm.

“I have. She understands and won’t speak again. She has agreed to come with us.” I didn’t speak with her. I didn’t agree to anything, but after realizing that I have no other choice but to rot in the hole I was in. I nod my head, I will go with them.

We set out swiftly and so quiet I can’t believe that he can move like that, or the Nan. They make almost no sound. They seem to know where to step and how to avoid the noise. I am glad he is forging a path for me now. He even seems to take care to avoid anything hitting my feet. I watch the trees rush by as my mind drifts downward to darkness, into a sleep unlike I have ever had in my life, free from screams, free from crying. Just the sound of the air rushing by and the gentle heartbeat of the male holding me.

Smile Bright

Kevin had dicked around on the computer late into the night often, it was now a common thing to happen since he had nothing to keep him company. His wife had left him with the apartment, his computer, a coffee table and a beat up old gaming chair. His stained and beat up old futon mattress from college days was his bed on the other side of the studio but other then that it was barren. He had never taken down the Christmas lights that had been hanging in the window. Why bother? It would have driven her crazy, tacky she had called it. Currently they acted as a kind of night light for his apartment to cut down on the cost of using the over head lights.

After getting to page 47 of his favorite website full of community posts he had figured it was time for bed. He had already fell asleep once or twice in his chair when watching dash-cam videos from Russia. He quickly checked his friend requests on his profile to see if she had responded to his last barrage of apologizes. Looking at her last words to him he grabbed his room temp beer and took a swig. “Fuck you and everything about you. I hope you die with those monsters you created. You don’t deserve forgiveness, you deserve hell you asinine shit faced wanna be. I hope you rot.”

He had a feeling that she wouldn’t feel any differently any time soon. He powered down his system with that message still up, staring at the words til his screen turned off. He felt the quite and darkness surround him, it crawled across his skin. He felt it all the time now. The same darkness that we all avoid. You don’t look behind you when you shut a door at night in the dark. You feel the footsteps chasing you when you walk up your stairs even though you just checked everything. You can’t unlock your door fast enough in the quite hour of the night. The fear that grips at you even though you know it isn’t real. The fear that you have had as a child and had been hushed away by a caring parent or shouted down by an irate drunk. You always expect it to be there.

This feeling had become common place for him. Walking to his bathroom he removed the night’s drinking from his bladder and didn’t bother flushing. He turned to the sink and washed his hands. He didn’t want to touch his dick hands to his face in his sleep. He turned off the light expecting something to appear in the mirror behind him. Not seeing something he continued out the door pulling it shut behind him. The few times he had left it open he had seen things standing there watching him or crouched on the sink following his breathing. The firm click was a nice reward to know he wouldn’t be seeing anything from that room tonight. He walked over to his futon and placed his phone on the charger. It was completely dead from his constant use in calling and texting his excuses. He dropped it on the bed and walked to the other side of the room to unplug the lights, maneuvering around the empty pizza boxes, beer bottles and general trash he hadn’t bothered with. He memorized his path back to his bed. The room would be thrown into complete darkness once he unplugged the lights that is normally how the shadows visions worked. Only finding him in the dark to whispers unkind words.

He reached down and unplugged the light string, squeezing his eyes closed tight. Allowing his eyes to have time to adjust so he could see ever so slightly. He expected there to be a face or something in front of him when he opened his eyes. He almost had to trick his brain into opening the stubborn eyes. A quick jerk of his eyes reveled the blank wall in front of him. Nothing had changed. Taking a deep breath he turned to make the shuffle walk back to his bed. He was glad nothing had happened tonight, he was so tired from the nights filled with nightmares both believable and impossible. His lack of sleep was part of the reason he felt so jittery. Two more steps and he could just crumple onto his warm nest and hope for the quite sleep that brought nothing to his mind.

Quickly and without sound the shadow slid from behind him and stood to his right. His body froze with terror. Nothing so bold had ever happened before. He quickly tried to pull his imagination back and tell himself is was a box on the table or the tree outside casting a shadow into the room, but the defiant shape and bleak outline of this shadow had ripped each logical thought to shreds. He wanted to run, to jump into bed and cover his head. He knew nothing was in the room. Nothing had come in. He had seen every part of the room before the lights went off. Which is what made him stand firm in place with an icy cold grip grabbing at his heart and lungs. He couldn’t push this away with his mind. He couldn’t force his body to move out a hand or foot. Something almost primal had taken charge and told him that movement would mean death.

He spoke almost in a whisper, “Faker..” not loud enough. The shadow raised a hand toward him. With a raised vigor of helplessness, “FA-aker” stumbling past the fear holding his breath back, but it seemed to have no effect on the approaching hand.

“FUCKING FAKER” he felt as if he had screamed it so loud that anyone in the complex should have heard him. The figure stopped moving. As if someone had taken out a cell phone with a picture of teeth, a broad white smile appeared nearly a foot and a half above him where the head was. Nothing but the beaming white grin that was well to wide for any device or natural figure to have. With teeth slightly pointed and shining. Looking for a snack.

Laura had called the police because she had feared that Kevin had taken to killing himself over their separation. He was a jerk yes but he had never showed signs of someone who would be prone to offing himself. In fact he had on several occasions stated that he thought it was the most cowardly way anyone could leave this Earth. When the calls and texts and private messages had stopped she was relived. He was going to give her the respect of some space to breath and think about things. When she messaged about meeting up, around two weeks later, just to talk. She didn’t get any message back. No response of any kind. Her calls went right to voice mail and she thought that he was being juvenile or maybe he had moved on? This was later proven not to be just her, once she got a call from his mother asking where he was.

The fight had been a big one, and they both believed in forever, but she never expected that he would kill himself. The police had asked her to come to the apartment since she still had a key so that they could go in. She offered to just give the key to them but they told her that like vampires they had to be allowed in. A light hearted joke to try and relive her.

The apartment was dark, blackout curtains had been placed on the few windows to keep out the light so he could sleep in. Piles of trash showed that he took no care of the apartment. The most overwhelming part was the smell. She knew they would find a body. Somewhere there was a rotting body of a man who had given up. She had her nose and mouth covered as tears streamed down her face. The two officers walked around the small room looking for any signs, they tentatively opened the bathroom door and expected to see him there. Nothing.

In fact he was no where to be found. They made the case a missing persons case and brought in a team to see if they could find signs of him anywhere in the room. Everyone agreed that the smell was classic to that of a weeks old rotting corps but he had left no trace. His wallet and keys in his pants on the floor next to his computer. Phone plugged into the wall. The man she had left was no where to be found. For a week they had the apartment closed off as they searched for clues. The case was cold they said. Nothing more to be gained here. So she had a professional cleaning crew come in and remove all the trash and bring it up to new again. Was this her fault? Had she driven him mad? She moved into the apartment and for two weeks she cried. She couldn’t move his computer. Never removed the phone. The police had said it was broken anyway because it wouldn’t power on for them. After such a deep scrub of the apartment the smell was gone. She kept incense and candles lit to keep herself from remembering the stench.

It had been one month. One month when she had started to look for him. She was so tired now. Hearing voices of doubt in her mind all the time. “You will never find him. He got sick of your shit. He is dead and you caused it.”

She cried. Every night she sat on the little white bed an cried.


This hadn’t been a whisper. This was him. His voice.


She frantically looked around. His phone sat on the ground plugged into where he had left it, now glowing brightly. Suddenly the power went out on the block. She was left sitting there on her little white bed, tears now drying to her skin, looking at the bright white light of the phone. The only thing in the room keeping it lit.

“RU-” The phone went black. No light shone anywhere. Her eyes were adjusting to the dark. As she started to get up off the bed to reach for the phone a cold dark hand grabbed her hand. She froze with terror. She knew this hand. The hand she held many times, on a date, on her wedding, on the news of her mother’s death. She knew it was him, cold and calm. She knew he wasn’t here. “It will hurt so much, and I am sorry.” She knew his voice. She wanted to scream, to run but nothing would work. The hand held tighter as a black shadow slid into her view from behind her and smiled.